A Party for Pooh

PETE'S BAD DAY

Morning dawned over the alligator smugglers' hideout. Sam awoke to the sound of his coffee alarm clock. "Mmmm....tis a great day for smuggling alligators...." Sam murmured to himself. "Isn't that right, Pete?" Pause. "Pete?" Sam rubbed his eyes and looked across the room, where he could usually find Pete huddled in a little ball on his bed. But this time, there was no Pete.

Pete, Sam's partner in the smuggling business, had managed to get up earlier than the alarm clock? Yes, as a matter of fact, Pete had. At the moment in which Sam awoke Pete was hard at work at the local fast food joint. It was Pete's first day on the job, and quite frankly, work was not going well for the clumsy alligator. He had already managed to drop three loads of hash browns, four boxes of pancakes, and 14 cups of coffee. Two of the cups of coffee were on purpose; the other 12 were more or less accidental.

By 10:30 in the morning Pete was exhausted. He didn't think he could survive another minute on the floor. Fortunately, at that moment Cynthia, the manager, called him into her office.

"So, Pete," Cynthia began.

"Yes?" Pete asked in a questioning sort of way.

"You're not very bright," Cynthia said. "You're also quite clumsy. You've cost us $100 of merchandise in this one morning. We've had some complaints. Give me one reason why we should keep you."

Pete looked at Cynthia, and he almost started crying. "Oh, there are no reasons. Except that...well if you fired me then I and my partner Sam and our three little pets would all starve to death we are so poor."

Cynthia looked shocked. "Is that true?"

Pete grinned. "No. Just kidding. Sam and I are quite good in the smuggling business."

Cynthia looked relieved. "Well, Pete, I suppose you deserve one more chance. But I'll be watching you very carefully with the next customer. You better do good."

Pete was very happy about that, but he was also nervous. He reviewed the basics: 1) always wear a smile, 2) speak slowly and clearly, 3) ask the customer if he or she would like fries with their order, and 4) be sure to give the customer lots of ketchup.

A customer walked in. Pete approached the man with a big huge grin. Beneath the grin he was very nervous. Suddenly he forgot what to say. But he had to speak fast--the man was looking at him quizzically. Aha! "Welcome to the smuggling corporation, young man. What can you do for me?" Pete scratched his head and wondered if that was the right thing to say.

The man now looked a little nervous. Pete wondered if the man hadn't understood him because he hadn't spoken slowly or clearly enough. So he repeated his greeting. This only confused the man all the more. Pete was getting flustered. He thought that it was the man's turn to say something. All Pete could do was stand there with a big smile on his face. But this seemed a little awkward to Pete, so he also started humming: "hum dum dum de-dum." The man smiled back at Pete, but it wasn't a happy type of smile. The awkward silence continued. Finally the man said, "Um, can I order something?"

Pete racked his brain for what to do when a customer asked a difficult question. Finally, he remembered! "Just a second, I'll ask a manager. I don't know the answer to that question," Pete said politely, succinctly, and slowly.

"That's okay," the man replied coldly. "I'll just go eat somewhere else."

Fortunately, Pete recovered from his nervous attack just in time. "No, wait, sir," Pete said. "What would you like? I think I can handle it."

"Very well, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese," the man replied.

Pete, unfortunately, was still a little flustered. "And would you like a burger with that?" he asked.

"A burger?" the man repeated. "I should hope so. Do your quarter pounders come with burgers, or are they meatless?"

Pete realized his mistake. He had failed the #3 rule: always ask the customer if he or she would like fries with their order. Oh, well, perhaps he could make up for it with the #4 rule. Pete tried again. "I'm sorry, sir. Would you like fries with your order?"

"Oh, yes, please," the man said. "With a whole lot of ketchup. And a burger, too."

"Hoo boy," Pete thought to himself. "This man even SAYS he wants a lot of ketchup. I bet I can make good on this part." Pete started to gather the food for the man, and fortunately this time he didn't even drop anything. Then he went to gather the ketchup. He found three big sacks and filled them with the little squeeze tubes. Then he gave them to the man. "Here is your food," said Pete, pointing to a rather small sack, "and here," continued Pete, pointing to the three big sacks, "is your ketchup. Please enjoy your meal, sir!"

"Harrumph!" the man growled. "Make fun of the way I ask for ketchup, do you? I've a mind to complain. Where's your manager?"

"No, sir, please," Pete trembled. "Please don't, sir...."
"And how was your first day at work, Pete?" Sam asked when Pete returned to the alligator smuggler hideout.

"It wasn't," responded Pete. "I got fired."

THE GOODNESS OF THE FAMILY

"Oh, gee, Pete, I'm sorry," Sam said. "I hope you're not taking it hard."

"It's not too bad, Sam," Pete said. "It's just that I'm such a klutz. I don't know if I'll ever make it in the real world."

"Just what is the real world, Pete?" asked Sam. "You have a pretty darn good world right here where you are. Heck, you have me, your smuggling partner, and three pets, who care for you a lot. This is your world, Pete. You don't need to go somewhere else making up a world for you that is not yours anyway."

This was a hard pill for Pete to swallow. "You're right, Sam," Pete said. "I need to care more for those around me and not care so much about my own ego. Although I was really looking forward to earning some extra money and helping out around the place."

"You help out around the place by who you are, your cheerful attitude," said Sam. "If we really needed the money, it would be different. But we don't. We are doing quite well with our smuggling business, and you are half the reason we are doing so well. So don't worry about it, Pete." Sam's words helped to cheer Pete up.

Just then the three pets walked in. The presence of the pets helped to rejuvenate Pete even more. He looked at the pets, and he smiled. Scarcely more than a year ago had he and Sam acquired the last one from Green Elephant's shed. This one's name was Eddie and he was the baby of the family. The other two, Lola Lizard and Happy Harry, had originally come from A.D. 850. They had adjusted well to modern times, though, mostly due to the efforts of Pete and Sam.

"Yes," Pete thought, "I should be happy. What I wouldn't give for a little adventure, though, a little chance to strut my stuff in the area I do best: smuggling."

Suddenly there came a knock at the door.

CHRISTOPHER ROBIN

It was Sam's old friend, Christopher Robin! "How is everything, Chris?" Sam asked.

"Well, everything is not so good," said Christopher Robin. "That is why I had to come. You see--but wait! I'm sorry, folks--the only one I know here is Sam."

"Oh, yes." Sam came to Christopher Robin's aid. "This here is my partner in the smuggling business, Pete. And these are our pets: Eddie, Lola, and Harry."

"I'm Christopher Robin," said Christopher Robin politely. "It's nice to meet all of you. But the reason I came, Sam, is because of your reputation as a smuggler. I come from far away in the Hundred Acre Wood, as you know, and the trip was not made lightly. I hear that you and Pete are among the best in the smuggling business." Here Sam nodded, and Pete had to smile.

"So what can we do for you, Chris?" asked Sam.

"Well," said Christopher Robin, "the story is this. About a month ago Owl, Piglet, Rabbit, and I decided it would be fun to plan a surprise party for Pooh. His birthday, as you may know, is tomorrow. So yesterday we decided it would be good to get Pooh out of the Hundred Acre Wood for a couple of days while we put up the decorations. We sent him off with Eeyore, thinking that Eeyore could keep him safe in the Northern Tundra Area until tomorrow morning. Boy, were we wrong." Here Christopher Robin paused sadly.

"What happened, Chris?" nudged Sam.

"This morning," Christopher Robin sniffled, "I got this." And he took out a note:
If you ever want to see your precious bear again, bring $20,000 and three thistles to the Old Stump at 2:00 tomorrow. Otherwise Pooh Bear will never again set foot in the Hundred Acre Wood. Signed, Eor
"Hmmmm," pondered Sam. "It looks like foul play."

JOURNEY TO NORTHERN TUNDRA AREA

Christopher Robin moved closer to Sam. "Confidentially, Sam," Christopher Robin whispered, "I think it could be a Heffalump. I never did believe in them before, but now...."

"Now then, Christopher," Sam said. "We must rule out all possible suspects. What about this Eor guy? Could he have done it?"

Christopher Robin looked shocked. "Eeyore? No way. I must admit that I gave Eeyore the job of taking care of Pooh because I didn't want to see him for a couple of days, but I know that Eeyore's not the type to do such a thing. I've known Eeyore all my life, and regardless of his negativity, he wouldn't ever do something like this."

"Well," proposed Sam, "I suppose the best thing to do at this moment is to inspect the scene of the crime. Do you mind time travel, Chris?"

Christopher Robin didn't, so they all climbed into Sam and Pete's Official Time Machine. At the last moment they decided to take Eddie along with them because he had always wanted to meet Piglet. The other pets, however, had to stay behind so as to keep up on the housework.

Pete, the Official Time Machine Operator, set the controls for the Northern Tundra Area. They never were sure if the time machine would take them exactly where they wanted to go. This time, they landed in a rocky area near a pile of thistles. The thistles were squished.

Christopher Robin examined the thistles. "Hey, these look like Eeyore's thistles!" he exclaimed. He could tell because somebody always managed to sit on Eeyore's thistles, leaving them crumpled.

"Aha! The plot thickens!" Sam grimaced.

"Well, at least we came to the right place," put in Pete.

"It certainly looks that way, doesn't it?" said a menacing voice behind them.

THE DETECTIVE

It was Green Elephant. Sam, Pete, Eddie, and Christopher Robin all cringed when they saw him, but this time, Green Elephant did not have his net. Instead, in his hoof he held a magnifying glass. "Do you mind if I inspect those thistles?" he asked Christopher Robin. Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed them from Christopher Robin as Pete and Sam exchanged puzzled glances. "Ahhhh, just as I thought," Green Elephant murmured. "The deviant is surely someone who eats thistles."

And what would you know about deviants?" asked Sam skeptically. Sam knew that Green Elephant had a long history of being devious.

"You wound me, Sam," said Green Elephant. "My past is over--I'm an honest elephant now. I'm a detective. Piglet recently put me on a case, and a terrible case, I might add. It seems that Pooh is missing. All of the evidence that I have seen so far points to a certain grey-haired donkey who likes to eat thistles as the culprit. Do you know of any such animal?"

"Why, sure!" Christopher Robin exclaimed. "He's my pal! His name is--"

"Flubber," Sam cut him off. "His name is Flubber. A great friend of Christopher Robin's. And there's no way he could be guilty of anything like this."

"Very well, then," said Green Elephant. "I'll have to take this thistle to my lab for testing." And he hobbled off.

Pete and Sam once again exchanged puzzled glances. "Do you think Green Elephant could be telling the truth?" asked Pete.

"He hasn't convinced me yet," responded Sam.

"When do I get to see Piglet? When do I get to see Piglet?" asked Eddie excitedly. He was quite a bouncy little alligator.

"Maybe right now," said Sam. "Chris, how would you like to head back to the Hundred Acre Wood and check on Green Elephant's story. I'm still not sure he's on the level. Pete and I will stay here and check out the area, to see if we can find anything else suspicious."

"Very well, then," said Christopher Robin. He and Eddie trudged off toward Piglet's house, while Pete and Sam headed in the exact opposite direction. The time machine, rooted where it had landed, was soon lost in the fog.

THE MEADOW WITHOUT AN EXIT

Pete and Sam headed north in search of whatever they could find. They always managed to find something. This time, it wasn't long before they spotted what looked like donkey tracks. "Hey, Sam!" whispered Pete. "Aren't those donkey tracks?"

"Why, so they are," Sam responded, and the two smugglers began following the tracks. They did not stop to think that if Eeyore and Pooh had been together, there would have been bear tracks, too. Presently they arrived at an old hollow stump. Sam looked inside the stump and found a note. The note read: "If you expect to see your friend Pooh again you had better leave the money right here. You are being watched. If you don't leave the money I'll have to kidnap you, too. Signed, Eor."

"Something's fishy here," said Sam. "How could one donkey kidnap us when he already has a bear to worry about? Pete, I don't like this. We better get out of here."

Pete agreed, and they started to run off. But they were a little too late. A ring of akrypteses surrounded the smugglers. When Pete and Sam saw the akrypteses they knew they had fallen into one of Moneymakers' deadly traps.

Presently, Moneymakers appeared. "Ahh, so it's Pete and Sam," smiled Moneymakers. "I knew that my kidnapping-Pooh-and-blaming-it-on-Eeyore scheme would be successful in bringing others under my power, but I didn't expect to see you here. Well, so much the better for my master plan! Have you heard of my meadow without an exit?" This last part he said menacingly, as though the meadow were something to be feared.

Pete and Sam had to admit that they had never heard of it.

"Well, I'll tell you about it," said Moneymakers. "As you know I have a highly developed and scientific mind. With this mind I have managed to create a technological masterpiece: a meadow with a force field. I control this force field, so that once creatures are inside the force field, they never escape. All this is part of my master plan to develop an army and take over this part of the Forest. Evil, huh?"

Pete and Sam had to admit that it was pretty evil.

"But why the notes?" Sam asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" replied Moneymakers. "I needed to lure people this way. I knew that someone would follow the donkey tracks I made." Pete and Sam scowled at their stupidity. As an afterthought, Moneymakers said, "And what did you think of Green Elephant's detective story? I hired him because I thought it would help make Eeyore look guilty."

Pete and Sam had to listen to Moneymakers' ghastly stories of evil all the way to the meadow. When they finally arrived, they found Eeyore and Pooh imprisoned as well. Sam was glad to see Pooh, but he had never met Eeyore and Pete had never met either Pooh or Eeyore. Nonetheless, it was a happy meeting.

"This never would have happened," grumbled Eeyore, "if Christopher Robin hadn't led Pooh and I off on this wild goose chase. Not that I mind Christopher Robin, he's a nice fellow and all, but I question his reasoning."

"It's my birthday tomorrow," said Pooh happily. "I hope that Christopher Robin has something grand planned."

"I hate to burst your bubble, Pooh," said Eeyore gloomily, "but I don't think we'll be celebrating your birthday tomorrow. Not that it matters, of course. But it would be nicer with Christopher Robin around."

At this piece of news, Pooh looked like he was ready to cry, and the smugglers didn't look too much happier. Thus far, they had failed.

THE HEFFALUMP PIT

"Who is it?" came a squeaky voice.

"It is I, Christopher Robin," said Christopher Robin. "Is that you, Piglet?"

"Oh, good," sighed Piglet, as he opened the door. "I'm glad it's you, Christopher Robin, and--w-w-who's that?" Piglet jumped back a foot when he saw Eddie. "Don't worry, Piglet," said Christopher Robin, and he laughed for the first time in a while. "This is my friend Eddie. He's with the smuggling corporation I contacted."

"G-g-g-good to meet you," said Piglet, as he held out a shaky paw.

"Wow, it's really you," gasped Eddie in admiration, as the two shook paws.

"B-b-but, Christopher Robin," stammered Piglet, "th-the reason I'm st-st-stuttering is because of the tremendous c-c-creature I just saw."

"What did you see, Piglet?" asked Christopher Robin fondly.

"A h-h-heffalump," stuttered Piglet, in a scared sort of way.

"Did the Heffalump see you?" asked Christopher Robin patiently.

"He t-t-talked to me," said Piglet, and Christopher Robin gasped. "He said," Piglet continued, "that he was going to find Pooh, and that if anyone was to ask, he had taken the case."

This sounded suspiciously familiar, but neither Eddie nor Christopher Robin could puzzle together the pieces just yet. "Did you see anyone by the name of Green Elephant, Piglet?" asked Christopher Robin.

"N-n-no," stammered Piglet. "Only the h-h-heffalump."

"In that case," said Christopher Robin, "I suggest we check the Heffalump pits that you and Pooh made to see if we've caught any of the Heffalumps that may have been lurking about." He did this to ease Piglet's mind, for Piglet was a very Timid Creature who was often scared of Heffalumps.

Imagine Christopher Robin's surprise, then, when he looked inside one of the Heffalump traps and found Green Elephant sitting there! "Look, Piglet," Christopher Robin said, as he motioned to Green Elephant. "There's your Heffalump."

This was perhaps a bad idea. Piglet took one look in the pit and became hysterical. "It's the h-h-hoffalump!" he cried. "It the herrible haffalump! The hollible hiffalump! The hellable hoffalump!" And Piglet ran off into the darkness, all the way back to his house.

But Christopher Robin and Eddie peered in at Green Elephant. "Well, Eddie," Christopher Robin smiled, "it looks as though we have ourselves a trapped heffalump." Eddie, who had fit the pieces together in his head as well, smiled back. Then they both looked down at the grimacing elephant, who was far from smiling.

THE EXCHANGE

Moneymakers paced about in his ritzy cabin, which overlooked the meadow. He was worried about Green Elephant. "I really like the guy," he mused, "because he has an evil heart just like I do. But sometimes he can be such a klutz. And he hasn't reported in for a while. I guess I'll have to check up on him and see if he's ok."

So Moneymakers sent out one of his akrypteses to find out what Green Elephant was up to, and the report was far from encouraging. "Christopher Robin and an alligator are holding him hostage," the akryptes reported.

Moneymakers banged his head against the wall in frustration. "I didn't want to hear that."

Perhaps we could kidnap the whole forest in one fell swoop," suggested the akryptes, whose name was Bert.

"Too risky," said Moneymakers. "And I have to get Green Elephant back before he reveals any secrets of my master scheme. What to do? What to do?"

"Perhaps," suggested Bert, "you could trade hostages."

"That's a fine idea," said Moneymakers. "Tell Christopher Robin that I'm willing to trade Green Elephant for Pete, here. He's the stupid one, anyhow."

Bert went to report this piece of news to Christopher Robin, but Christopher Robin would have none of it. "It's all or nothing," he told Bert. When Moneymakers heard this he was flabbergasted, and told Bert to tell Christopher Robin the most he could give up was two hostages: Pete and Eeyore. Bert hurried to tell this to Christopher Robin, who decided that two hostages was okay as long as the hostages got to decide which two. At this Moneymakers finally had to agree.

Moments later, Moneymakers was in the meadow telling Pete, Sam, Pooh, and Eeyore that two of them were free to go. At first everyone wanted to go; then they realized their greediness, and no one wanted to go. Finally they told Moneymakers that they would need a few minutes to make up their minds.

As soon as Moneymakers departed, Sam drew Pete aside. "Well, Pete, I hate to say this, but it looks as if our luck may have run out," he said. "The way I see it, it's our duty to be the ones to stay since we're the ones who blundered here in the first place. What do you think?"

"I will be more than happy to stay here, Sam," Pete replied, "because it means that Pooh will be able to have his birthday party. Plus, we'll have more fun trying to figure a way out ourselves."

Pooh and Eeyore had been talking together as well, and they approached the smugglers. "Ahem!" said Pooh. "We've decided that you guys can go. It is the right thing to do."

"That's very honorable of you, Pooh," said Sam, "but it's too late. We've already reached a decision that we will stay. And you can't argue against the smuggler pride." With that Sam pushed Pooh and Eeyore out of the meadow, for Moneymakers had just arrived for the official release. Sam didn't know how long he and Pete would be stuck inside the meadow, but he did know that he and Pete had done the right thing, and that was most important.
On the dawn of Pooh's birthday, he and Eeyore trudged into the Hundred Acre Wood. Pooh was quite sad when he realized no one was there to greet him. What he did not realize was that dozens of pairs of eyes were watching him through the fog as he hobbled to his house for some rest.

Among the owners of the pairs of eyes was Eddie, who realized when he saw Pooh and Eeyore that he might not see his owners, Pete and Sam, for quite some time. He was proud of them, though. Christopher Robin, too, was happy for what Pete and Sam had done. He was glad that there was going to be a party for Pooh on his birthday, one that Pooh could attend.

Christopher Robin let Pooh sleep until 11:00. At this point Pooh awoke, for this was his time to have 'a little something.' Christopher Robin, however, had cunningly hidden Pooh's last bottle of honey so that Pooh wouldn't find it immediately. A disgruntled Pooh decided that he would have to go over to Piglet's for lunch. When he opened his front door, however, he was flabbergasted to see the whole gang on his doorstep! "SURPRISE!" they all yelled to a suddenly very excited bear. They gathered around him to ask him about his adventure in the Northern Tundra Area, and the Distinguished Pooh got to tell the whole gang about it. Eddie was there, too, and Pooh got to meet him. Finally, Pooh got to open his present: 10 pots of honey. All in all a very happy day for Winnie-the-Pooh.

As the excitement wound down Eddie said goodbye to Christopher Robin and made his way back to the edge of the Northern Tundra Area, where the time machine still stood. He got into it, for he knew that his first line of duty was to help the other pets with the housework. Later, he would return to help Pete and Sam escape from the nasty clutches of Moneymakers--but that is in another story.

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