In Search of an Island

A PHONE CALL

One day the alligator smugglers received a phone call. Can you guess who it was from? No, it was not from Green Elephant. It was from the president.

"Hello," said the President.

Sam, on the phone, was very surprised. Why would the President be calling us, he thought. "What's the matter, Mr. President? Are invaders from Mars attacking?" he asked with concern.

"Have you last all your marbles?" roared the president. "I just want to tell you--"

Sam was not even listening. He was counting his marbles.

"No, Mr. President, they're all there," he said when he got back onto the phone. "Although even I can't believe it. I thought I had lost my green birdcage."

At this point the President was turning blue, but he managed to hold his temper. "As I was saying," he said between clenched teeth-- "Mr. President! Remeind me to remind you to come over and see my marbles sometime!" Sam said happily.

"AS I WAS SAYING," yelled the president, "I presume you two dodos are on the WANT ISLAND list that I have here. Well, I have just been informed that there is a new island rising in the world."

"Oh, boy, thanks, Mr. President," said Pete, who had finally managed to calm Sam down. "Maybe we'll find some blue alligators there."

So they got ready. They hired a captain and bought a boat (they made sure the boat was stamped Moneymakers, Inc. because that brand is the best) and they set off on a long journey. They said goodbye to their pet alligators and left.

"Boy, I hope this island is as good as it cracks up to be," said Sam. Suddenly the boat cracked. They bought a new boat, and Sam said nothing more about cracking.

Because of the delay of buying a new boat, they had to start seaching without their coffee at MacDonalds. They started off as fast as they could go. They got going at a good clip--about 50 knots per hour. And they searched all over for this new island--the president would not tell them where it was.

One evening the alligator smugglers bedded down for the night, as usual. They told the captain to steer at an east course and went to sleep. Little did they know that they were about as lost as anyone can get.

THE BIG ROOM

When the alligator smugglers woke up the next morning, they thought that something was wrong but they couldn't figure out what it was. Then Sam looked out the window. "Look!" he told Pete. Pete looked, and he saw a place that he had never been, seen, or heard of, before. The water was calm, as if they were in a lagoon. Then Sam figured out that they were in a lagoon. "We'w be neaw the iwand soon," said CumberCutter, the captain, who always pronounced his L's like W's.

"I've never seen this place before," said Sam to CumberCutter.

"And you may nevaw see it again," said CumberCutter, and neither Pete nor Sam liked the way he said it.

Just then they pulled up right in front of a huge rock wall. It was just that as far as they could see except for a little opening (which they could barely see). "You go in that cave," said CumberCutter, pointing to the opening, "and you'w find some bwue awwigataws in there somewhere." Of course, Pete and Sam could never miss a chance to get some blue alligators, so they quickly got out of the boat and ran up to the opening. They saw a big room inside of it and also some stairs leading down from the middle of the room. The stairs looked scary, but the room did too, so they took the stairs. The stairs went down and down and down, so much that it was almost a neverending staircase. But just when Pete was going to tell Sam that he was giving up, he couldn't anymore since Sam had disappeared. Then Pete heard a lot of struggling and a tremendous bang. But before he could hear the end of Sam's fate, he too fell off the staircase (or so it seemed) into a room about 1,000 feet wide, 1,000 feet high, 1,000 feet deep, and 1,000 feet tall (in other works very big). Before Pete could say a single word, a huge trash can lid slammed down on him and he found out that he couldn't breathe. "Sam must be in the same position," thought Pete, because he could hear someone gasping for air.

As soon as Pete and Sam thought that the people (or whoever) that had slammed trash can lids on them had left, they peeked out and looked at the room they were in. It was a grimy, sort of a magic and loony place, and it made Pete and Sam feel very small. There were all sorts of birds, but especially ones that looked kind of like green canaries and orange pelicans. There were also blue ants with wings flying around. The trouble was, everything was so big (you know that I said the alligator smugglers felt mighty small). For instance, the ants looked like twice the size of elephants, and.... Boy, am I drifting away from the story! Anyway, Pete and Sam were simply amazed by all the things there were in the room, but now they turned their minds toward getting out of it. And from the looks of it, that was going to be very hard indeed.

GETTING OUT OF THE ROOM

Now there were two other creatures in this room that knew how the alligators felt. They were the canaries, Twit and Tweet. They had lived in the room a long time and had always tried to figure a way out. But now they thought that they had one.

At the moment that Pete and Sam were mysteriously dumped into the room, Twit and Tweet were perched on the furnace pipe. Their means of escape from the room was to crawl up the pipe. It was dangerous, but they were willing to try it. They whispered the plan to Pete and Sam, but the furnace was just a little too small for the alligators so they couldn't get out that way. So before Twit and Tweet crawled out, they gave Pete and Sam a map of the room and of their travels. The problem was, there was only part of the map, so it would not show where the new island was.

Pete and Sam decided to look at the map to see if there were any other apparent ways to get out of the room. They found a little secret door at the far end of the room, so they decided to walk toward it. The problem was, it took such a long time that they decided to look at the map scale. They found out that it was 1,000 miles per inch! This was definitely going to take a long time because there were also lots of twisting passageways in the room (these passageways were also very hard to get through because passageways aren't usually found in rooms. They often encountered secret doors that were very hard to get through.)

Then Pete noticed something on the map. "What's that?" he asked Sam because he could not read the label.

"That," said Sam, "is only an airplane." But it set him to thinking. Maybe they could get into the airplane and rush off through the ceiling of the big room. He told Pete his plan, and they started toward the plane.

When they got to it, they foudn that someone was starting the engine. So they immediately hopped aboard, noticing that the plane was made by Moneymakers, Inc. If it was that brand, then they knew it would be out of the room in a big hurry.

What they did not know was that the pilot made it go faster. For he could not let two alligators that were now in his grasp get away.

THE ALLIGATOR RESCUERS

Meanwhile, the alligator smugglers' pets, who had been left at home, began to worry about their owners. And when pets worry about owners, it is a very serious deal. And this looked very serious, because they were going to try to help them.

They packed up all their clothes and belongings (to get ready for a very long journey) and started off. But they did not take the time machine. You may remember the time machine from a couple of the previous stories. The pets haven't been allowed to use the time machine since the time they were stranded in time.

Anyhow, these two alligators set out with all their belongings (a toy compass and a stuffed reindeer) to rescue Pete and Sam. They rode the stuffed reindeer and checked their compass (the alligator smugglers had said they would be between 0 degrees and 180 degrees longitude and 0 degrees and 90 degrees latitude, unless they got a rocket) and guess what was the first thing they found? The island! And guess who they found there? CumberCutter, the alligator smugglers' captain on their boat! Our rescuers surprised CumberCutter, and told him to tell them everything he knew, or else. The truth is, CumberCutter often has memory lapses and doesn't remember much. He told the alligators he didn't know anything, and so they had to give him else. Now we'll get down to serious business.

The alligators asked CumberCutter when he had come into possession of the island. CumberCutter replied, "I didn't know I owned any iwand." So they asked him if he would let them own it. He said, "Sure, as wong as you stop tawking this nonsense." So the alligators said thank you.

The pilot of the airplane was Moneymakers, himself. The alligator smugglers did not know this; they just knew they were getting a free ride. Moneymakers, in the front seat, was congratulating himself for his grand scheme. "Heh heh, Moneymakers, old boy, you've pulled a perfect stunt. Now you not only have the island and two slaves in the back seat, but you've also conquered your archenemies, Pete and Sam, once and for all. Anyhow, we're at the island. Time to give those alligators a scare they'll never forget."

By this time the alligator smugglers themselves had figured out where they were, and they were rejoicing themselves. "Boy, oh, boy," said Pete, "this plane is not only taking us out of the room, it's taking us right to--"

"--Moneymakers!" finished Moneymakers, the crafty old devil. "Heh heh! And so now you two are going to be my slaves also, and help me make my vehicles!"

The alligator smugglers no longer felt that Moneymakers was the best brand. In fact, they would rather have eaten Spaghetti soup than ever mention the name again. (Alligator smugglers do not like Spaghetti soup.)

Suddenly, there was a great thump, and a tree fell on Moneymakers! "You'll do nothing of the kind, you brute!" It was the alligators' pets! They had saved the alligator smugglers from a horrible fate! The alligator smugglers were even more happy when they saw the Island Ownership Card.

We own this island.
Signed, PPPPPPPP & Smuggler Sam
Name: Smuggleland

Then the alligator smugglers went home with their pets, and the pets got an extra treat in their lunch for being so brave.

And in case you worried about CumberCutter, he was really a good guy who was forced to work for Moneymakers. He took off when the tree landed on him.

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