THE ALLIGATORS SMUGGLERS
EPISODE 11
CHRISTMAS IN THE 100 ACRE WOOD
At the end of Episode 10 of the Alligator Smugglers, we left you, dear reader, hanging on the edge of a precipice, wondering what was going to happen to our heroes, Pete and Sam. To get you up to speed we’ll recap what has happened thus far.
In Episode 9 the grand saga began when Moneymakers, that nasty fiend, captured Pete and Sam and left them to be forever imprisoned in the Meadow Without an Exit. Oddly enough, this particular meadow was quite close to the 100-acre wood, where Pooh and his friends lived. In Episode 10, the saga continued with a very unusual morning. First, Christopher Robin showed Pooh how to use a Very Long String with two Tin Cans tied to both ends. Second, Pete and Sam agreed to a plan that had potential to get them out of the Meadow. Third, Eddie the Alligator, Pete’s long-time pet, was ferociously abducted by an unnamed toothless alligator and taken away in Pete and Sam’s very own time machine! Fourth, a mysterious new alligator named Greg joined the 100-acre wood and proceeded to make a name for himself, causing Rabbit to become extremely jealous. These four seemingly unrelated events all come together to create a grand and catastrophic climax in "Christmas in the 100 Acre Wood." We begin our story with Pete and Sam.
THE INTERVIEW
"Oh, Sam, I just don’t know about this idea," Pete whined. "What if Moneymakers suspects that we have a plan up our sleeve?"
"He probably will suspect, Pete," Sam responded patiently, "and that’s why I have this." Sam held up a corner of Moneymakers’ red tunic.
"I don’t understand, Sam," Pete said inquisitively.
"This, Pete, is an Alibi. Don’t you know what an Alibi is?" Sam paused grandly. "At any rate, this is the only way. Of the two of us, you’re the only one who Moneymakers would ever let get into the bureaucracy of his organization." Sam did not say that the reason Moneymakers would let Pete in and not Sam was that Pete had much less brainpower than Sam, and Moneymakers knew it. After all, Sam was a kind alligator.
"How soon until he comes?" Pete asked nervously.
"Less than an hour now. Be ready," Sam whispered.
Pete was surprised to see not Moneymakers, but Bert, one of Moneymakers’ akrypteses, come to take him to the interview. Bert blindfolded Pete and took him down a winding trail through a dark forested area into a brighter sort of area where the air smelled salty. Bert took off Pete’s blindfold. Pete was shocked and a little frightened when he found out that his way was blocked on one said by a choppy expanse of water and on the other three sides by three hulking figures. Slowly, as Pete’s eyes adjusted to the bright light, he realized that one of the figures was Bert, and the two others were creatures Pete had never seen before.
The hulking creature beside Bert extended his paw. "Randy," he grunted. Pete introduced himself as well. Randy was a little bulkier than Bert and not the type of creature Pete would like to find in a dark alley. While all of the three creatures looked like akrypteses, the third actually looked more like a gorilla or King Kong. "That guy," Randy grunted, motioning to King Kong, "is the Sly Monster. He doesn’t speak. He just observes."
"Just so you know," Bert said offhandedly.
Pete decided that he liked Randy. He ha to like someone, and the Sly Monster was just a little too scary looking. Pete had already decided that he didn’t like Bert.
"Uh HUM," Bert coughed. "Let’s get this show on the road. First question. Pete, why is it that you want to join the leadership of Moneymakers, Inc.?"
Pete scratched his head and tried to listen to Sam’s words of encouragement coming back to him. "Um, well, it’s like this," he stuttered. Three pairs of eyes bored into him. It was the Sly Monster’s eyes that scared him the most. "Well, you see," Pete continued, "I just have this vision of helping people. That is, I want to help people be BAD." Pete grinned at the looks of approval he got from both Bert and Randy. He was doing well.
"Second question." Randy looked at Pete encouragingly and said in his low rumbling voice, "What type of experience do you have in doing BAD things?"
"Ha," Pete responded. "Virtually my whole life has been devoted to smuggling."
"Very good," Randy responded. "So far, I must say that you’re doing well."
"Now," said Bert with a menacing gleam in his eye, "you must honor the Sly Monster’s one request." Pete looked at the sly Monster’s stone cold unemotional face and shuddered. "The Sly Monster requests that in the next 24 hours, you make as many people unhappy as you can, by doing BAD things. Now let’s see, Sly Monster, how many people shall Pete make unhappy in order to have the privilege of joining our team?"
The Sly Monster did not respond.
"Well…Bert clenched his teeth and looked into Pete’s eyes contemptuously. "How does ten people sound? You must make ten people mad by this time tomorrow."
Pete gulped. "If that’s what it takes, ok. Let me at ‘em!"
THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF EDDIE REVISITED
The Toothless Alligator grinned a nasty grin and shoved Eddie into the time machine. Then he got in himself and punched a few buttons. Within seconds, Eddie and the Toothless Alligator found themselves in the middle of a big field on a dark, cold blustery day in the 1800’s. Eddie found that he was no longer scared of the Toothless Alligator; rather, he was scared of the thunder and the voracious crackles of lightning that surrounded him. Fortunately for Eddie and the Toothless Alligator, they were very flat and the chance of lightning using them as a connection between sky and ground was slim. However, what was going on with that guy over there across the field? He was standing up straight and tall, and he was flying a kite with a key attached to it! "Doesn’t he know that’s dangerous?" Eddie whispered in horror.
"We must save him," the Toothless Alligator grinned devilishly. And with no teeth, it was most certainly a devilish grin.
What the Toothless Alligator did next was rather brave and most gallant for an alligator without teeth. He bounded across the field and charged right into the man with the kite. Yes, the Toothless Alligator knocked the man right off of his feet! "Eddie, help me save this poor man," the Toothless Alligator yelled. Within seconds, Eddie was beside him and with a tremendous yank ripped the kite string out of the man’ hands.
"Whew, we saved him," the Toothless Alligator wheezed as Eddie dropped the kite string. "That was a close one."
The man took one look at Eddie and the Toothless Alligator and with a tremendous yelp ran off across the field. Fortunately for him the lightning decided to spare him during his pell-mell retreat.
"Who was that guy, anyway?" Eddie asked. "And why would he be flying a kite on a day like today?"
"Some people have no brains," the Toothless Alligator responded. But had Eddie been looking at the Toothless Alligator’s expression when he said that, he would have realized that there was more to the story than that.
"So…why did you take me with you?" Eddie asked. IN the midst of all of the activity Eddie had overcome his fear of the creature that had so quickly abducted him.
"I needed your help," the Toothless Alligator responded absentmindedly. "But I will need you more during the second phase of our operation."
"Oh, and what’s that?" Eddie asked excitedly.
"Wait and see, my little friend," the Toothless Alligator replied once more. "Wait and see."
PETE THE GRINCH
Ten people. So ten people were all. Technically, Pete had to make ten people either cry or yell at him on different occasions. And the stickler was, Bert was to accompany him. Well, he only had 23 hours and 47 minutes left, so he had better get started.
First, Pete went to Sam. It took only a little bit of needling to get Sam to yell, and Pete could explain later. Nine to go.
Pete then explained to Bert that since he was new to the Area, he didn’t know anybody else, and so would Bert please help him find some people to make mad. Bert was glad to oblige. "Have you ever heard of the 1000 Acre Wood, Pete?"
Pete had, of course, and without further ado Pete and Bert went there. Pete wondered in passing how it was so simple for Bert to exit the Meadow, but he knew that asking such a question would arouse suspicion.
Pete was surprised to find that outside the Meadow Without and Exit, it was Christmastime! Well, this would make things easy. Since he was so good at smuggling things, and he had had experience with giving people presents a Christmastime a year ago, he would be an expert at taking things away, right? Well, Pete soon found that stealing things at Christmastime is a lot harder than it looks. He succeeded in making both Piglet and Pooh cry by taking away their trees, but it was not fun. Kanga and Roo yelled at him and gave him looks of disbelief and hurt when he took all of Roo’s presents, and it was not fun, either. Tigger became enraged and chased him for more than a mile after he found out that the Extract of Malt was missing, and that at least was fun. He poked and needled and cajoled Eeyore until Eeyore looked a little more sad and dejected than usual, and Pete asked Bert if please could that one count. Bert, with some reservation, said yes, and that left three more for Pete in less than ten hours.
Next, Pete went to Owl’s treehouse, but Owl was nowhere to be found. Plus, Pete found that it would be difficult to climb up the tree. That left Rabbit and Christopher Robin. Pete went to Rabbit’s house first. What luck! Another alligator was there, talking to Rabbit. Pete sneaked up on the two of them to hear their conversation.
"And so, Greg, it appears that we can work out this agreement," Pete overheard Rabbit saying. "I have here a Petition, signed by all of my friends and relations, which decrees: ‘Rabbit is in Charge.’ Next to Christopher Robin, of course. What Christopher Robin says goes. But as a Rabbit, I am second-in-command."
"As long as you will help me with my plan, Rabbit," the slick-suited business alligator Greg said, "I will be glad to be YOUR second-in-command. That, I guess, would make me third-in-command." Greg scratched his head at the thought. "You WILL help, won’t you, Rabbit?"
Rabbit stood up straight and tall, "You can be assured, Greg, that my word counts more than anybody in this 100 Acre Wood, and just as much as Christopher Robin’s. I won’t let you down. The others, they don’t have that much brain power. But I, for one, know that your plan to bring Law and Order to the 100-Acre Wood is a good one. It’s a high time that some Education was brought into these parts. Pooh and Piglet, they’re good company for breakfast, you see, and a hi and a hello now and again, but you can’t TALK to them, you know what I mean, like you and me talk, or me and Christopher Robin talk…."
Pete decided that it was time to make his Grand Entrance. "Uh HUM," he said. "I don’t mean to interrupt, but I couldn’t help overhearing you talk about who’s in charge of this 100 Are Wood. As it so happens, Christopher Robin has appointed ME his second-in-command. So I have no clue what you’re talking about. Why don’t you, Rabbit, take all that bragging and bluffing back into your hole, and you, Greg, I don’t know where you came from, you Mafia intruder."
This little spiel got a good rise out of both Greg and Rabbit, and Bert was so impressed with Pete’s lie that he decided to count the single situation as two people, because Pete had in reality offended two different creatures. From there, Pete and Bert continued on to Christopher Robin’s house.
CHRISTOPHER ROBIN REVISITED
Pete decided that the first way to get a good rise out of Christopher Robin would be to simply recount what he had said to Greg and Rabbit. This would be sure to make Chris mad, for Chris already knew what sort of alligator Pete was, and he would be shocked to hear that Pete was telling lies.
As a matter of fact, Chris was shocked. But Chris had eaten a good hearty breakfast that morning, and his temper was with him, so he did not get mad. Instead, he said, "Pete, I’m surprised at you. Why are you stirring up strife in the 100-Acre Wood? Admittedly, that Greg character gives me the creeps—I have a feeling he may be part of a grand scheme to bring our corner of the woods under the regime of Moneymakers, Inc. But that is no reason to tell lies. Two wrongs do not make a right. It looks like you’re in some sort of trouble. Is there anything I can do? And who is this friend of yours?"
Bert raised his eyebrows at Pete. Pete knew that look. It was, "Don’t mess up this one. You were doing so well before. Come on, you can do this."
With that Pete said, "Who my friend is is no business of yours. And why do you have all of this nasty Christmas stuff up?" With one swipe of his tail Pete downed Christopher Robin’s beautiful Christmas tree. Then he grabbed all of Christopher Robin’s three presents and held them close.
But surprisingly, Christopher Robin did not get mad. Nor did he look hurt. Instead, he said in a soothing voice, "Pete, I know there’s been some sort of trouble. I know you’re probably upset about a lot of stuff and you’re probably just trying to help. But I think you may have your sights set a little short. Don’t lose sight of what your real goal is. Do you even know what your real goal is?"
Pete looked at Chris is surprise. "Aren’t you going to get mad?"
Christopher Robin looked Pete straight in the eyes. "If I got mad, wouldn’t that defeat the whole spirit of Christmas? Christmas is for giving. That’s what the first Christmas was about—a Christmas present from God to us. And God was happy to give his Son. So, if I got mad about giving away my presents, that wouldn’t be very Christmas-like, would it? You can have those presents, Pete. Take them and enjoy them."
After that Pete felt more ashamed then he had when he made Pooh and Piglet cry or when he made Kanga and Roo yell at him. He shrank back, dropped the presents, and whispered, "I’m sorry, Christopher Robin."
"Is there anything I can do, Pete?" Christopher Robin called after him. Pete shook his head, and Bert looked disgusted.
Even in the midst of his shame Pete had a plan. He knew what he could do to make up for his badness that day. He had one more person to make mad, and by golly, he was going to do it.
ESCAPING FROM THE MEADOW
Once again, the Toothless Alligator got in the time machine and punched a few buttons. Within minutes Eddie and the Toothless Alligator found themselves inside the Meadow Without an Exit. Eddie leaped with joy when he found his owner, Sam. Sam was not so happy. "Now look what you’ve done, Eddie," he reprimanded his poor pet. "Now we’re all stuck inside the Meadow Without an Exit and the time machine is, too. A fine fix you’ve put yourself in, and all when Pete has a plan to get us out of here."
Eddie had not thought about that. He looked at the Toothless Alligator.
The Toothless Alligator smiled. "Both of you are wrong. This meadow has an exit now, because electricity has never been discovered; thus, there is no electric barrier." A look of disbelief crossed Sam’s face, but Eddie made the connection. It was the guy in the field! That guy was going to discover electricity, but he and the Toothless Alligator had stopped him!
"This alligator is right, Sam," Eddie said. "You can escape now."
"Well, now, this is a fine fix," moaned Sam. "This sure puts the fine plan Pete and I made in a bad way. Now, I only hope that I can find Pete."
"No time to think about that now, Sam," the Toothless Alligator said. "We’ve got to get out of there before Moneymakers discovers that we’re planning an escape." With that, the Toothless Alligator proceeded to lead Sam and Eddie out of the meadow.
"How did you know about all this? And how did you know Sam’s name?" Eddie looked at the Toothless Alligator with a newfound respect and awe.
"Let’s just say I have connections, Eddie," the Toothless Alligator said. He did not mention that he used to be a part of Moneymakers’ gang and had recently reformed.
PETE’S PLAN IN MOTION
Pete returned to the Meadow Without an Exit with one goal in his mind: find Randy. He was going to make one last person mad if it killed him. Bert was obviously confused, but that didn’t matter. He still had about five hours, and that was more than enough time in which to implement his scheme.
Pete noticed that Bert looked a little perplexed as they reentered the force field area. What was wrong? Oh well, Pete had precious little time to think about that just now. "Where’s Randy?" he asked Bert.
"I’ve got to blindfold you again," Bert replied, "if you want to see him."
"That’s ok," Pete agreed, "only if you un-blindfold me before he sees us."
Bert looked at Pete quizzically but agreed to his strange request. Again they went down the trail through the dark forest and arrived at the waterfront. But before they were in Randy’s sight, Bert removed the blindfold. "Ah, good," Pete thought. Randy was facing the waterfront, deep in thought, and Pete and Bert were safely hidden at the moment behind a bunch of person-sized leaves. Pete grabbed a leaf and proceeded to sneak up on Randy. When he was about ten feet away he pounced. "Geronimo!!!!" Pete yelled as he landed on the akryptes with the leaf as a shield. His only chance lay in surprising Randy. Before Randy could react he surrounded him with the leaf.
"MMMMF!" Randy yelled. "LET ME OUT OF HERE!" But Pete would not. After he had rolled up in a cylinder, he began dragging him up the trail and away from the water. The remaining akrypteses, including Bert, watched Pete, the alligator-gone-berserk, in awe. They did not attempt to follow him.
Yes, Pete was indeed mad. He did not even notice the absence of the force field as he left the Meadow Without and Exit and return to the 100 Acre Wood. He went straight to Christopher Robin’s house. "Christopher Robin," he wheezed breathlessly after his great effort. "I escaped."
By this time Randy had had a chance to calm down. "Mmmf," he grunted.
Pete removed Randy’s blindfold and before Randy had a chance to pounce back, Pete said, "I noticed something about you, Randy. You did not seem as bad as the other akrypteses. That is why I helped you escape."
Randy’s eyes widened, and he did not pounce. "Thank you, Pete," he rumbled. "You are a very nice alligator."
CHRISTMAS IN THE 100 ACRE WOOD
After Pete explained the reasons for his strange behavior to Pooh, Piglet, Kanga, Roo, Tigger, Eeyore, Rabbit, and Greg, they promptly forgave him. Christopher Robin, of course, had already forgiven him. Pete spent the next day, which happened to be December 23rd, repairing the damage he had done to Pooh and Piglet’s tree and making Christmas presents for all of the creatures he had wronged. Pete had learned an important lesson.
Sam spent December 23rd warming his toes in front of a fire at Pooh’s house. Eddie was there, too, and piglet. All together, the four of them had a wonderful time exchanging stories of their life’s adventures—especially the adventures that they had ha during the last couple of months. Towards the end of the day they decided to visit their other friends who lived in the 100-Acre Wood.
They found Eeyore and the Toothless Alligator exchanging stories of misery at Eeyore’s gloomy place. They both looked extraordinarily happy. "It’s amazing, " Sam commented, "how much easier life can be when you have a friend, or a comrade to help you through." Then Sam wondered where Pete was.
They found Rabbit and Greg together planning the new government that they would impose upon the 100-Acre Wood. "Perhaps…this is the beginning of a new story," thought Sam. "Conflict in the 100 Acre Wood." For Sam did not think that Pooh, Piglet, and Christopher Robin would take kindly to anyone else taking over their rightful positions of power and influence.
Tigger was enjoying a tablespoonful of Extract of Malt at Kanga and Roo’s house. All three of them looked like they were enjoying themselves.
Finally, they found Pete and Christopher Robin’s house. "Pete!" Sam exclaimed joyfully when he found his companion. "What have you been doing all day?"
"Well, Sam," replied a subdued Pete, "I’ve been undoing all the bad stuff I did yesterday, and now I’ve been talking to my good buddy Christopher Robin for the last hour. He thinks smuggling is wrong." At Sam’s pained look, Pete hurried to continue, "But that doesn’t mean I won’t always be your best friend. And Christopher Robins’ still trying to figure out just exactly what it is we do. He doesn’t actually think it’s smuggling." With that Sam smiled. It was going to be a good Christmas after all.
On Christmas Eve, Pooh, Piglet, Kanga, Roo, Tigger, Eeyore, Rabbit, Greg, Pete, Sam, Eddie, the Toothless Alligator, Randy, and Christopher Robin got together to enjoy a huge Christmas dinner that Kanga, Pete, and the Toothless Alligator had all helped to prepare. At the last second, Owl showed up! It was a truly wonderful Christmas.
On the 26th, Pete received a letter that read, "Congratulations! You have completed the interview process and are eligible to become a part of the Moneymakers Inc. Leadership team. Please respond by January 31 to accept this special offer." Pete threw the letter away, and Randy and the Toothless Alligator cheered. Yes, it was good to be among friends again. And this is how Pete and Sam’s first great adventure in the 100 Acre Wood ends.