The Alligator Smugglers in Space
MILLIONS OF ALLIGATORS
The Alligator Smugglers Steal Sodir. Pirate Pete and Smuggler Sam
are alligator smugglers. I say that, because, not only are they
alligators, but they steal alligators as well. I could not say kidnap
though, because these alligators are pink and the alligators that they
kidnap are a rare dark blue. They are so rare, in fact, that Pirate Pete
and Smuggler Sam couldn't affored to throw them away.
Well, anyway, Pirate Pete and Smuggler Sam located an alligator at the
edge of Liechtenstein in Europe. They hopped on a plane heading toward
that area. The problem was, they had to stand on the exact center of the
plane. If they moved on millimeter either way, the plane would list.
When they finally got to Liechtenstein, they had no trouble at all in
finding the rare alligator. He claimed that his name was
Soderipticuszyxolnpoilcakcandiwaynonda. As that is rather a little bit of
a long word, I decided to abbreviate it to the name Sodir in this
book.
In return, the alligator smugglers claimed that they were alligator
smugglers and were going to take him with them. He quite agreed to this,
so they hopped on the plane again and traveled back to the alligator
smugglers' hideout.
Sodir Runs Away. The alligator smugglers had been having a pretty
fair time with Sodir. They had just been sitting around and relaxing
while Sodir did all the housework.
But then one morning they woke up to find him gone. He had left a note
that said,
Dear Alligator Smugglers:
Thank you for letting me stay at your house. But I do not like housework.
If you wish to see me again, you will find me at planet QB. Sincerely not
yours, Sodir.
"That's really bad," said Sam.
"I suppose we had better start packing," said Pete.
"Packing? We don't even know where planet QB is," said Sam.
So they looked in all the Math books, Spelling books, Geography books, and
Astronomy books they could find, and they finally found out that you had
to go a quarter of the way across the universe at the southeast corner of
Liechtenstein, whatever that meant. Well, anyway, they tried it like
this:
They got some air tanks and went to the southeast corner of Liechtenstein.
Then they started jumping up and down as high as they could until they
were out of the Earth's atmosphere. The book had told them that the
planet QB's gravity was so great that you would soon fall into it. And
that they did. But fortunately, they had a safe landing, right on top of
Sodir. Or was it Sodir? They couldn't tell. There were so many blue
alligators that it was hard to tell which was Sodir. But they finally
found him and greeted him. "Hello," they said.
"Hi," he said, but he was soon pushed on by the crowds of alligators.
Stealing Alligators by the Hundreds. Since they could not find
Sodir again, they tried to think of how they could get off the planet and
take some of the "rare" blue alligators with them. They finally came up
with a plan. They could pack each alligator in a box and send it
springing to Earth with a slingshot. So they did this, struggling with
each alligator to get them into the boxes, as they did not want to go.
When they had their desired number of alligators, and Sam had shot Pete
back to Earth, Sam did not know what to do. They had not thought of this
part of the plan. He was thinking about this when suddenly an alligator
pushed him into a box and shot him back to Earth. It was a good thing the
alligators didn't like him, this time!
On Planet P.S. When Sam finally got back to Earth, (or what he
thought was Earth) there was no sign of any living thing except for the
alligators that they had sent there. They soon found out that this was an
unknown planet ("but it seems like an ok place to live to me," thought
Pete), so they decided that they should be the ones to name it. They
decided to name it P.S., and that for two reasons: partially because it
was their initials, and partially because it was at the end of the
universe, far beyond the signature.
But Pete soon found out that it was awful lonely on Planet P.S., with no
one to talk to but blue alligators. They knew that the original plan
that they had worked up would not work, so they came up with another plan.
They would jump up and down as high as they could (they had learned that
there was little gravity on planet P.S.) and bring some little steering
wheels to guide their way back to Earth. They could not bring the other
alligators along because they did not want to go with them and you cannot
make an alligator jump up and down as high as he can.
So Sam and Pete left alone, using the little steering wheels they made.
And as soon as they were in the Earth's gravity range they could not
control where they were going, and all of a sudden they hit Earth with a
bump and were knocked unconscious!
TROUBLE WITH COKMOORE
The Trap in the Castle. "And this decree will be law hereafter,
that no one will be allowed in the castle with the exception of my
bodyguard and the queen. If you trespass you will be thrown into prison."
These were the first words that Sam and Pete heard after they
recovered.
"I bet I already know the reason that we can't go in the castle," said
Sam. "It's because they have one of those midnight blue alligators in
there."
"Well, then, let's get going," said Pete. "If there's one of those
alligators in there, we're going to have it."
So they immediately started off into the castle. They saw no guards, only
a lion in one room. They summoned the lion to come with them.
They were talking urgently with the lion about what a dumb rule the king
had made up when Sam suddenly noticed that the hall was sloping downwards.
He was about to ask the lion about it when the lion disappeared through a
door into another room. The alligators kept on walking as if nothing had
happened, which is always a smart thing to do under Strange and Unusual
Circumstances.
Suddenly a purple elephant pushed them through a door--into the dungeon!
The lion was laughing at them. They were about to start a fight with him
when a green baboon chained them up. "This will be you new home," he
said, referring to the dungeon. They even had a blue alligator for a
gaurd! They did not know what to do.
The Escape from the Castle. They soon found out that their guard's
name was Cokmoore. They also found out that he was very willing to go
along with others. So they decided to try a very risky plan. If it
didn't work they would have a far less chance of escaping in the
future.
They asked the alligator if they could go and see the king. "Anything you
say," said the alligator. The alligator treated them like they were
in charge of him, not like he was in charge of them.
So the blue alligator unchained the alligator smugglers and they ran off,
leaving a puzzled look on his face.
"I never want to go in that castle again," said Pete.
"Me neither, but then how are we going to capture the alligator?" asked
Sam.
Capturing Cokmoore. Pete and Sam decided to hang around in that
town for a while to see if there were any signs of Cokmoore. As a matter
of fact, they did see him, in a lower chamber in the castle. He had left
off guarding people because there was no one to guard.
Why, this would be so simple to get the alligator that they wouldn't even
have to try. They would just blow a hole through the window with dynamite
and--uh-oh! The king riding by in his royal chariot had seen them, just
as they were lassoing the alligator. The king, who did not like this a
bit, pulled a rope out of his pocket and lassoed Sam and Pete. You should
have seen this procession in real life, how the alligators followed the
chariot and Cokmoore followed the alligators (oh yes, and even the horses
pulled the chariot). It was certainly a grand rodeo.
The Trial. Soon the horses led everyone else in the procession to
a huge, open grassy area with nothing on it but a big table. The
alligators soon found out what it was when the judge and some jurors came
and sat at the table. The lawyer soon presented the case, and the case
was this:
"Two alligators named Pete and Pam," (Pete and Sam, interrupted Sam) "Pete
and Sam were blowing a blole" (blowing a hole, interrupted Sam again).
The lawyer glared at Sam and went on. "Anyway, these goo ties were bowing
a hole in the hindow--"
"Aw, this guy can't even say his words correctly," said Sam. "Let's go."
So they soon set to work on gnawing the lasso off of their heads, which
was a sort of a hard thing to do, as they had to bend their heads 180
degrees to do it. But they soon got the lasso off their heads and,
dragging the blue alligator behind them, they waddled off.
The trial continued as if nothing had happened. The lawyer was still
presenting the case--"And they assoed the lalligator, ank then the thing
dassoed em--"
The Flying Feather Bed. As they had nothing to do and they had
captured the alligator, they decided that it was about time that they went
back home again. So they decided that they should make a room out of
feathers, and the wind would blow them home.
So they went to the General Store and bought some feathers and made the
room out of feathers, all the while taking the alligator with them. When
they finally had the room all made and were ready to go, they discovered
that they had forgotten to put in a door. So they had to take a big hole
out of the side to get in. They took the blue alligator along as
planned.
Pretty soon a wind came up and carried them all off into the air. The
feathers were not staying together very well. Soon there was a big hole
in the bottom of the room, through which the blue alligator fell through.
They had lost their alligator, but at least they were coming home.
Presently the wind stopped and they drifted down to the ground. They dug
another hole through the feathers and climbed out of the room, and there
they were, right in front of the alligator smugglers' hideout.
THE GREEN ELEPHANT
The Mysterious Call. Pete and Sam had scarecely entered their
hideout when the phone began to ring. Sam answered it. A scratchy voice
said, "We need you at planet OZO. Hurry and come. This is urgent. If
you come, we might be able to get one of those midnight blue alligators
for you."
"Okay," said Sam, "we'll be right over." He said it as if it were
perfectly normal that they were going to planet OZO, wherever it was. He
hung up the phone. Then he explained where they were going to Pete.
"Where in the world--"
"It's not in the world," cut in Sam.
Pete tried again. "Where in the universe is that?"
"I don't know," said Sam. But they soon figured out where it was, and
they went to planet OZO in the fastest way they could think of (which was
simply flying).
The Alligator Trap. When they got to planet OZO, they looked all
around for the mysterious caller. There was no sign of life on it, except
for a huge tree way off in the distance. They headed for it.
They did not know how long it took them, but finally they were beside the
big tree. But then they didn't know which way to go next. They were
beginning to wonder why they had come to the big tree in the first place
when suddenly--whoosh! A huge net came toppling over them. Then
somebody appeared from behind the big tree. It was green elephant--their
worst enemy. (He had acquired that name from Pete and Sam because
sometimes he turned a strange dark green color.) He started toward them.
He said, "Ha! Ha! I have finally caught you two scoundrels! Now you shall
be my slaves for the rest of your lives and you will have to work day and
night for evermore. Ha! Ha! Ha!"
The Escape from the Elephant. Pete and Sam had to do everything
for green elephant--even feed him his food. They indeed were getting very
tired of being his slaves so they decided to do something about it. When
green elephant wanted to go somewhere for a family reunion, he appointed
Sam to be chauffeur. While Sam was driving, green elephant fell asleep as
the smugglers had hoped. When Sam was sure that green elephant was sound
asleep, he turned off the car engine and got out of the car. Then he ran
to the place where Pete said that he was going to meet him. Pete was not
there.
In the meantime, green elephant had woken up and had noticed that the car
was not going anywhere anymore. He look around for his chauffeur, but he
could not find him. Finally he decided that it would be a better idea to
see if his other slave, Pete, was still around. So he drove back to the
house, just as Pete was coming out the front door. You should have seen
Pete's face! He was startled. "You get back in there and do your
chores!" green elephant shouted. Pete started his chores with a sheepish
look on his face.
A little while later, while Pete was washing windows in the green
elephant's bedroom, he heard a voice. He looked out the window and saw
Sam. Sam motioned for him to open the window, so he did. The he opened
the screen.
"What's all the commotion in there?" yelled green elephant. He started
toward the bedroom.
"Come on," said Sam, "and hurry." He helped Pete through the window.
They had no time to close the screen or the window. They ran off as fast
as they could, and green elephant came through the door into his room just
in time to catch a glimpse of the fleeing alligators.
Getting off Planet OZO. As soon as they were far enough away from
green elephant's house to be safe, they sat down and rested and thought
about how they would get back to Earth. They soon figured out that planet
OZO was an oval in shape, and they thought that if they ran as fast as
they could they would soon run off of it. So they tried, and you should
have seen them run! When they ran past green elephant's house he started
running after them, but he couldn't keep up. They soon passed a sign that
said: "Curve, Slow down to one mile per hour" so they thought that they
should be going off pretty soon. And just as they fell off planet OZO
into thin air they heard green elephant yell, "You forgot your
alligator!"
THE GREEN ORANGUTANS
Meeting the Green Orangutans. Soon Pete and Sam realized that they
had forgotten to take their steering wheels along. They thought all was
lost, that they would have to stay out in space forever until they died
of suffocation. But pretty soon they fell into the gravity of a small
planet by the name of TX. (Fortunately, the planet didn't have much
gravity so they had a safe landing.)
There were no animals on planet TX except for some green orangutans that
all had their purple tongues hanging out. When they saw Pete and Sam,
they asked them, "hu u thu?"
Pete and Sam could not understand this question in the least, so they
said, "What did you say?"
The orangutans appeared not to be able to answer this question either, as
they probably did not even hear them because they were dancing around
them, saying, "Hu u thu? Hu u thu? Hu u thu?"
The TX Language. Pete and Sam were soon seated in chairs at some
computers to learn the TX language. The computer had a toy on the
screen. The computer said "tuh" and the word "tuh" appeared. Pete and
Sam had no idea of what this meant.
Soon, however, Pete and Sam mastered the words tuh, hu, thu, u, buh, thok,
the, and thand and were able to communicate a little with the orangutans.
The orangutans finally got Pete and Sam to understand the key six words:
"Thuth musth thek ur thung ou." Then Pete and Sam could communicate all
they wanted with the orangutans. What do you think the key words
were?
Getting off Planet TX. The alligators, thinking that they were
doomed to stay on Planet TX forever, decided that they should go and live
in somebody else's house until they could build their own. They called up
Orangutan household number 34 Cth Q to see if they could live there for
the time being.
The household they moved in with was very, very messy, as they all had
their tongues hanging out of their mouths. The alligators offered them
napkins, but they refused, having never seen anything like one before.
They had also never seen any form of silverware or plates or dishes.
Everything was going fine, and Pete and Sam's new house was coming along
well too, when a tremendous cyclone came. It hit Household number 34 Cth
Q with all the creatures in it. Then it carried it all the way to Earth
and stopped it right in front of the alligator smugglers' hideout.
The Plan. While the cyclone carried them through space, Sam was in
his room on the sixth floor thinking. If they wanted to catch blue
alligators because of their rarity, why couldn't they catch the green
orangutans? Green orangutans are probably even more rare. As a matter of
fact, Sam had never seen one on Earth before. He decided to tell Pete his
idea.
Pete, who lived on the roof, was having a pretty difficult time with the
cyclone. Sam had a hard time in saying anything to Pete, but he finally
got his message out. Pete shouted above the roar of the storm, "I think
that that's a very good idea."
So it was planned. When Pete and Sam landed in front of their hideout,
they ordered all of their orangutans inside it (there were five orangutans
total). Once they were inside, Pete and Sam shoved all of the orangutans
in the closet so that they wouldn't get away.
Now the alligators are drinking coffee, watching the busy orangutans
hurrying about, doing their housework. Judging by this, I think that the
orangutan smugglers (not the orangutans, however) will live happily ever
after.
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